
Elise’s middle name is Senya, which is an anglicization of her Chinese name, 思雅 (Si1 Ngaa5). The name means “refined thinking” or “elegant thoughts”. We love our Senya ❤️
My middle name is Zeahan, which is also a phonetic approximation of my Chinese name, 倩行 (Sin1 Hang4). I love telling the story of my name. My parents were originally going to use Sheehan as a middle name, but my uncle Henry said it sounded too much like shit head. So Zeahan it was.
In spending nine months thinking about Elise’s name, I grew more proud of my own. Both our Chinese names were chosen by my grandfather, Elise’s great grandfather.

Before Elise was given a Chinese name, Casey had to receive one first.
Casey’s last name is Primeau, pronounced Pree-mo. At first, my grandpa chose 漂流 (piu1 lau4), which means drifting. We didn’t like that connotation. So he revised it to 標苗. Biu1 Miu4 sounds a lot like Primeau and it was shortened to just 標 (Biu1) to be less Western. Most Chinese family names are just one syllable. 標 (Biu1) on its own means seedling or sprout and it is Elise’s Chinese family name too.
The first full name that my grandpa gave Casey is標棋士 (Biu1 Kei4 Si6). This was chosen based on sound and characteristics. 棋士 (Kei4 Si6) sounds like Casey and also means chess scholar. He does play chess, though not professionally. The main quality he wanted to capture was Casey’s intelligence.
My grandpa revised it to the final form, which is 標其志 (Biu1 Kei4 Zi3). 其志 (Kei4 Zi3) means to declare one’s ambition or set forth one’s aspirations. It’s said to be a classical and literary name.
I don’t read Chinese but I thought it was important to have my grandfather name the next generation just like how he decided my sisters’ and my names.
Since I can’t write Chinese I felt a lot of imposter syndrome creating these works. Who am I “performing Chinese-ness” for? I’ve struggled with being perceived as more or less Asian my entire life. As I partake in “Asian” activities I feel like I’m fetishizing myself based on what little I do know about the culture.
But now that I’m a mom, I realized I don’t have time to be self-conscious and I better learn how to write my daughter and husband’s name from memory. These works are a way for me to reclaim Chinese writing.